I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize