mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
