HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Drake has all the answers
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
