How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
