Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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