There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
