is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there is glitter all over my balls
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
