You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
