..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
