I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he quoted the bible to break up with me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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