i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
