nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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