is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
