I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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