We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
