Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm too high and old for this...
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