I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
