You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize