Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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