idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
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How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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