ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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