I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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