I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
