Got a toothbrush?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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