My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
