Your tits are I can't wait for
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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