Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
