why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize