the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
