these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
