This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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