She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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