a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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