i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
