did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
sex in a hospital.. check
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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