You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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