kristin has been a bad kristin
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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