Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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