i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
