Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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