dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
