About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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