i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
