Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
