so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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