Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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