is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
