I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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