I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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