I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
