there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
