So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
