i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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