Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
