Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
