If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back