If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.