So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
