i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
